Friendship and Trust

Friendship and trust are two inseparable things. You can only obtain both or not at all. Furthermore, after thinking quite deeply, I found that it is hard to differentiate one from another as both need time, repetitive interactions, and commitment and understanding to grow. One of their unique relationships is when the friendship ends; the bond of trust is likely to melt away too and vice-versa. So, I assume that it is safe to say that both of them are indeed two side of a same coin.

To befriend someone without trust or to trust someone without befriend the person is quite unlikely or in other word, risky. Through million years of collective socialization, the human race has developed a strong intuition in terms of reading the mind from body movement and expression. Research state that the first seconds of the first encounter is likely to give an impression that lasts for ages. Also, whether to trust and befriend someone come in a packet that your logic never ever tells you to befriend someone you sense as suspicious and untrustworthy from the first place.

“I’ve known these old lads for a very long time. They are my buddy and I trust them with all my live”.  Those words cross my mind every time I see myself in a photo with "the inner circle” of mine, in other words: “the gank” or “kawan-kawan lama”, which consists of no more than ten carefully selected people whom I have known for at least five years. There were continuous mutual evaluation between me and them concerning inner motives, potential, traits, habits, and most importantly, the chemistry itself. Through years of commitment and watchful observations, now I am proud to say that I have found people who are as close and trustworthy as a family to me.

Personally, time together is vital for the making of rapport as I am afraid to grade a person easily from the first glance as I am aware that my intuition sometimes misdirects me. Every now and then, I found someone whom I know would be a good company before the person even start talking to me. On some rare occasions, I found wallflowers whom at first I thought as clumsy, useless, or even a bit odd whom turned out as one of the most imaginative, creative, and unique people I know. Whatever the case may be, quality time would provide everything needed for the lingering growth of the tree called relationship with trust as its xylem and friendship as its phloem.

sources:

 Boothman, Nicholas. 2008, How to Make People Like You. New York: Workman Publishing Company, Inc.

Carnegie, Dale. 1952, Zo Maaktu Vrienden en Goede Relaties. Den Haag: N.V.Maandblad Succes